Get set, GO.

Its Friday afternoon, work is done and I'm just at home hanging out in my room sitting on my reading chair. This week has been an amazing one. I don't know if its due to the weather, but I finally feel like I am out of this funk I was in for so long. It began somewhere in January, when things began to feel so routine. This comparison might sound funny, but I felt like a hamster running around in the wheel. Going nowhere, just spinning my wheel.

Okay, that sounds really funny.

I didn't really want to talk to anyone about it because part of me felt like I was just complaining. After all, I honestly have a lot to be thankful for, and nothing is routine because everything is still partly new. Ha. But still, I felt stuck. Two weeks ago I began to fall into some sort of depression. I wasn't sleeping, I had no appetite, and I had no desire to do anything. It didn't make sense though because I wasn't sad. I wasn't crying. I talked to a new guy friend who told me that it sounded like I was depressed and needed to just talk to someone and see what it was. Sunday night I shared with two friends all my worries and fears. And then when I realized, all the food on my plate was gone. We sat down to talk and before I knew it I was fast asleep.

Sunday I made a decision to get rid of all the distractions in/around my life and just get back on track. I cracked open my bible when I read Hebrews 4, a chapter which speaks of the Promise of Rest. This chapter says that God has promised rest, but that we need to be obedient, faithful, and mix the word of God with faith. Verse 10 says "For he who has entered His rest himself also ceased from his works as God did from His." Now, I may be taking this verse out of context, but what I got out of it is that until I enter the rest of God (which I believe is heaven), I still have a lot of work to do down here. I am not spinning a wheel with nowhere to go, everything I do is for a reason, and I still have a purpose whether I realize it or not. I may not be where I saw/thought I would be 3 years ago, but I am here and instead of complain I need to understand and figure out why I am where I am.

Life hasn't been better since. Going to sleep with a smile-waking up with a smile. Smiling at random times throughout the day. I don't understand why, but I know that my purpose and work isn't done and that in itself has been the biggest drive throughout this week. I was reminded of the times that I go out for a run, and set a destination. While I am running and out of breath, I feel like I am never going to make it. But when I finally reach my destination not only do I feel accomplished but also tell myself that I complained for nothing. Life isn't over yet, I'm not spinning a wheel; all I've been doing is reaching "checkpoints" in this race. Eventually I'll get to the finish line, but I'm not in a rush. This is the path I'm on and I will praise my way through.